In 2004, three years after passing the half-century mark, I took stock of my life and realized that I had abandoned my first love, writing fiction. With a grown son, a teaching job, and the summer beckoning me, I told my husband that I was going to Florida for a month to write. Dumbfounded, he nodded acceptance—then realized that meant he would be alone in Maryland for an entire month. After negotiations, we agreed on a schedule that would enable him to be with me for fifteen out of the thirty days I would be away. Not the life of a writing recluse, but the space I needed to begin.

My sister and friends in Florida greeted me with open arms—and an open bar. At five in the evening, on the third day of my feverish clacking away at the keyboard, I read them my first chapter. They laughed, they clapped, they asked for more. They, along with my patient husband, became my first critique group.  At this point in my new adventure, I needed the kind and gentle reinforcement of family and friends to keep me away from the whirling eddies of self-doubt and the undertow of my internal editor screaming “YOU SUCK!” At the end of the month, I returned to Maryland, the start of a new semester and the routine of the day job. The cheering section from Florida continued to send me emails asking for chapters, giving me the encouragement to continue to write. I began an email list with my founding “members,” then added others as more of our friends began to read my work. After a year, I completed the first draft of my novel, which was subsequently rejected by eighty-two agents and several publishers. The only agents and publishers interested in my “baby” were ones who were denounced in large red print on numerous websites.

Discouraged, I asked my textbook publisher for assistance, and he referred me to a professional editor. I spent a good deal of time and money on this avenue, and while the comments and suggestions she made were extremely useful and educated me very quickly on the first round, I received diminishing returns on my investment on subsequent exchanges. My last letter from this editor was clearly cut and pasted from another author’s critique, signaled by a sentence that began, “As you know Nancy.”  Needless to say, I walked away from that relationship.

I attended a state-wide writers’ conference hosted at my former university and signed up for a writing group in my area. Shortly after the conference, I received an email from another attendee inviting me to join a mystery writing group in a local retirement community. Yes. You read that right. The leader of the group was a retired women’s studies professor and self-published author of several books. A witty and fun octogenarian, she gathered the little group of six around her chair at her apartment and regaled us with her experiences in the National Organization for Women, the marches, and the fights for equality. We drank tea, and reviewed each others’ work in twenty-page chunks and looked for opportunities for improvement. Then, we began to dwindle. One had an elderly parent and child issues; another had a spouse who was ill, another moved away—and the biggest blow: our fearless leader fell in love! Swept off her feet by an older man, romance, travels and new adventures beckoned her. While I still hear about her adventures, we do not meet any more.

Lollygagging around, I wrote in a vacuum until I was invited to join a different online writing forum by an online friend in the UK . This one had rules and protocols, public sections, and private sections open only to dedicated critique partners, aka, “critters.” It also had a firm, but gentle owner. Was this a romance writers’ forum? No. It was a dark fiction group, Café Doom, where horror, mystery, supernatural events, vampires, werewolves, and zombies reign. But, they were willing to critique romance, and were enormously helpful as an additional “set of eyes” for my short stories. While I don’t spend as much time there as I used to, I know they are always available and valuable.

In between my forays into various critique experiences, my friend and Mistress of the Paranormal, Rosemary Ellen Guiley, recommended that I join RWA and the Maryland Chapter, MRW in 2005. After publishing a story with the Wild Rose Press, I had a subsequent one returned to me by an editor with the strong recommendation that I find a critique group. I put a call out on the MRW loop: “MF ISO RWCP: That’s right. Married female in search of Romance Writing Critique Partner. Willing to share housekeeping duties on partner’s manuscript. Able to spot problems with others’ writing–but myopic when it comes to my own. Constructive criticism gratefully accepted. Interested? Email me at…”

Three people responded to my posting, and we agreed to work on our critiques by email. My preferred mode was to include a cover email with general comments and observations, beginning with something that I really liked about the manuscript: characters, descriptions, dialogue, concept, etc. I liked to include resources as attachments that I have found to be helpful. Whether it’s an article on formatting, a link to the twelve steps of intimacy, or a listing of great online courses I have taken, I think it’s important to share what I have discovered along the way.

Last year the Maryland Romance Writers began a critique group, the MRW Critters. Skillfully organized and run by Joya Fields, twelve of us meet monthly to critique four submissions. Each critter has 5 minutes to discuss one submission. Four hours fly by! The face to face sessions provide us an opportunity to learn from each other and hear different perspectives. More importantly, when my work is being critiqued, I have the benefit of the wisdom of eleven experienced romance readers and writers, who often agree on what works–and what doesn’t work in a manuscript.

So what’s the bottom line? Publication. I know for a fact that if I hadn’t put my work out there for feedback from fellow writers, my second novel would be languishing in a drawer alongside my first one. Instead, I am happy to report that after connecting with my romance writing critique partners, I had five stories (3 short and 2 novellas) accepted by the Wild Rose Press, including the one (now much revised) which had been returned by the editor. And, this week my first full-length novel, Desire and Deception is being released by Red Sage Publishing. What better proof do I need that having good critique partners works?

I do not regret the wandering route I have taken to find the “perfect” critique partners. Each experience has brought a new lesson. Along the way I have made friends across the genres, discovered what to do, as well as what not to do.  In a nutshell, here are my lessons learned in my search for the “perfect” critique partners:

• Do you homework and work at your craft.
• Be willing to ask for help.
• Be open to trying new approaches.
• Give as much as, or more than, you receive.
• Be kind, honest and constructive.
• There is no one, true way to tell a story.
• Have a good sense of humor. No whining!
• Say thank you for the time and effort invested.
• Know when to walk away when it’s not working.

While it can be challenging to keep up with reading and reviewing other people’s work, plus continuing to write your own, I have found it is an exchange well worth the effort. As my writing has improved, I’ve increased my network of acquaintances, and have discovered some true friends. May you have good stories to write, honest and kind critiques to read, and many HEAs on your path to finding the “perfect” critique partner(s).

PS: Join me at the Latte Lounge at Coffee Time Romance on March 31, 2011 for an all day chat with Red Sage authors. Get the inside scoop on exciting stories–and backstories!